


The day after.

by Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright



Series: After Morning Star [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Embarrassed Alec, Gen, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Lydia is a Good Friend, POV Alec, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Magnus, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, maryse is a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6746248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright/pseuds/Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Lightwood spent the night at Magnus' following the events of morning star. On his return to the institute the following morning how will he begin to process what's going on and where can things go from here. He knows he needs to resolve things with Lydia but also to find a way to bring back Jace.</p><p>As he talks to people within the institute Alec is forced to start to deal with his emotions and also revelations about Jace come to light which may change things.</p><p>Edit: have added in a few other chapters and I'm bad at summaries  x</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lydia

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is a bit of a mess... I was trying to imagine the sort of emotions Alec would be going through and for some reason I found it a real struggle..
> 
> Follows the events of mornings

It had hit him the moment he stepped through the door, the feeling of suffocation and tension, as if suddenly he was walking underwater. This place that had been his home for as long as he could remember felt wrong, off kilter somehow, as if the heart had been torn out of it and the corridors he knew so well were just the bleached bones of someone long dead.  
Valentine, a name the mundanes associated with love, had broken his world into sharp shards whilst barely even a lifting a blade. His words had twisted Hodge into something dark and hideous and had ripped away Jace.

Alec had always been a warrior, it was all he knew, bravery and action brought change. _The honour comes from the deed_. Such a simple phrase and one that he had been raised to believe was utterly true and yet now it seemed so empty and meaningless. Everything that he had understood was wrong, emotions and words had the power to rip your soul apart in a way that action never could, but more than that, they could take the shattered pieces and rebuild them into something stronger than armour.

It was, he realised, something Valentine had always known, his power not laying just in his ability to fight but in the way his words used fear, anger and yes even love to bend those around him to his will. It was of course a weapon that the Clave did not understand, their thoughts so rigid and confined by the restrictions of duty before all else. _The law is hard, but it is the law._ The words tasted bitter on his tongue.

Alec paused by the ops room to watch the people milling around, searching for clues, a way to win the war that was inevitably coming. They were so ill prepared, their world view so monochrome they couldn't begin to make sense of what was happening around them. None of them were ready, himself included and Alec knew that things had to change if there was any chance of survival. The time of angels was past, the Clave could no longer stand alone against the rising tide and Alec realised that Clary had been right all along, their only hope was for the shadow world to stand together. His arrogance and disdain for mundanes had blinded him to the truth.

The last 24 hours had been revelatory to say the very least and it was becoming hard to process even a tiny iota of what he was feeling. He felt the loss of his parabatai so keenly in this place that it was overwhelming and with that the knowledge that he himself had strained their bond flooded him with guilt. If he had made different decisions then their link would not be so frail and all because he had been so concerned with doing what the Clave had wanted. The Clave, who thought that strict adherence to rules would save them all, who thought that they could instil loyalty with fear, who discounted downworlders as inferior.

Alec had known it would be hard to come back here but he hadn't expected that he would feel like this after all it was only last night he had left. He hadn't perhaps expected things to have shifted so much, as if by accepting who he was he had opened himself up to other truths he had been denying. He had wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in Magnus’ arms but he had never shied away from a fight and the urge to protect those he loved was always at the forefront of his mind, but more than that the happiness he had felt seemed undeserved when so many others were in pain. He still hadn't had chance to talk to Lydia, she had been in and out of consciousness when he'd left, he needed her to know how much he owed her and that he wasn't sure he could ever repay that debt.  
Alec made his way to the infirmary without anyone paying him too much attention, for which he was grateful. He was still feeling a little too off balance to deal with Isabelle’s questions or his parents continuing disapproval. He wasn't even sure why he felt the urge to see Lydia so strongly, he knew that he had humiliated her in possibly the worst way someone could and perhaps he needed to understand how she had been so accepting of what he had done. It would be so easy to blame others, to blame the harsh clave law and the pressure from his parents, but at the end of the day he had made choices that had hurt others and he had to take responsibility for that.

As Alec entered the room Lydia looked up and caught his eye smiling softly. Gingerly she sat up in and leaned back against the bedstead. She looked frail and despite the Iratzes that had faded the bruises on her jaw there were still dark circles under her eyes, proof of what she had been through.

Alec indicated the chair next to the bed

“Is it ok if I..”

“Of course yes. It's good to see you Alec..”

“I wanted to check you were OK, I should've come sooner…I'm sorry..”

“It's fine. I'm fine…I just…”

Lydia shifted uncomfortably and stared hard at the ceiling composing herself

“I heard about Jace. I'm so sorry Alec. I'm sorry about everything…”

Alec looked at Lydia and felt his heart twist. He did not deserve her apology, she had nothing to be sorry for not after what he had done to her. He thought, as he had often done before, that he wished he could have loved her, that she deserved to be loved, to be seen for the amazing person that she was. Suddenly he wasn't sure what he felt more guilty about, that he had humiliated her on her wedding day or that he had been prepared to ruin her life by marrying her, robbing her of the chance of love that she so deserved.

“Lydia, please don't .. Don't apologise..you've nothing to be sorry for and I …None of this is your fault”

She looked at him through narrowed eyes, confusion flitting across her face. Alec found it hard to hold her gaze and had to lower his eyes.

“Alec?...”

He glanced up with hooded eyes

“Alec …. I was the one that nearly got Meliorn killed, that nearly got Isabelle exiled and because of me Valentine has the cup…”

“That's not..”

“Yes, it is.”

“Lydia, please don't. I'm as much to blame, maybe more..”

Lydia turned to look at him now as if searching for what to say..

“You really believe that don't you ?” She asked carefully

Alec felt himself flush. Lydia continued

“It changed me you know, when John died I mean. I gave up I guess. I blamed myself, for not doing enough, for being alive when he was dead. I closed myself off and just focused on the job, nothing else. The only thing to hold on to was orders. I stopped questioning. Then I came here and maybe things started to shift a little. It’s you I have to thank for that, you Izzy, Magnus, Clary all of you. I saw how much you loved each other, how much you cared and I saw the good that love did and .. And it was like I was waking up. You have no idea how much I need to thank you for that.”

“That's not ..how…I …. I humiliated you. How can you..I've let everyone down don't you see that. I nearly broke my bond with Jace, he's out there with Valentine poisoning his mind and that's on me. I should have seen what he was going through I should've been there for him but I was too concerned with lying to everyone including you. How can you forgive me after what I've done. I don't deserve it..I…”

Lydia reached across and took his hand.

“You strained your bond to save your sister don't forget that. If I hadn't put her on trial you wouldn't have had to, if I hadn't sent Meliorn to the silent brothers… “

“But what I did at the wedding…”

“Alec. I knew. I knew how you felt about Magnus. I knew you had feelings for him”

“I..”

“No Alec you need to hear this, I knew how you felt and I was prepared to take that away from you, what does that make me? I kidded myself that Magnus didn't feel the same, but that's no excuse. Clary was right I would have taken away your chance of finding out who you are. I should've cancelled the wedding, I should've walked away instead I was prepared to ruin your life, for what, for the Clave, for the chance to run the institute. I meant what I said you do deserve to be happy, you really do.”

“I don't …”

“Yes you do. Alec, it's ok to be happy. I know you always put others before yourself, that's how I knew you'd go through with the wedding, but you can't look after everyone if you don't look after yourself.”

Alec felt like his head was spinning. He'd come to apologise to Lydia, to thank her and she was apologising to him. The guilt was still swimming through his mind, guilt at letting people down but most of all he felt confused. His parents anger he understood, but this made no sense.

“Lydia, I … I came here to …well to thank you.. What you did for me, that's a debt I can't repay. I don't think you get that. You saved me from myself”

“There's no debt you owe me. I would have gone through with the wedding, you stopped it not me. I just let you. If Magnus hadn't arrived when he did..”

Lydia pinched the bridge of her nose her brow furrowing slightly. She smiled faintly before she continued.

“Fine, I'll make a deal with you. Here’s what you can do for me. Be happy, that's all. Stop judging yourself so harshly and simply take your happiness where you can. You deserve that at the very least and don't ever doubt that. Make Magnus happy, he deserves to be happy after what he did and you're the one who makes him happiest. He lights up when you're around and he deserves that.”

Alec can't help but flush at the thought of Magnus, he thought back to the morning and still it seemed so unreal. That someone as amazingly wonderful could have looked at him as if he were some precious gift. Alec felt as if he was in some surreal dream. Of all the things he had expected out of life nothing could have prepared him for this.

“I don't know what to say… I'm just.. “

“It's ok….”

It was Alec that broke the silence.

“He likes you you know. Magnus, I mean, he thinks you're great. He told me after the trial.. He didn't want either of us to be lonely..I should've listened to him sooner”

“We both should…can you tell him, tell him I'm sorry and that I… I hope he forgives me…”

“He already does.. I know he's planning on popping in later after he checks on Jocelyn…”

“I'd like that..”

“You could stay you know..I mean if it's not too weird for you…”

“I hadn't thought….”

“You should…we need all the help we can get..”

“I…”

“At least consider it… Please”

Lydia smiled slightly

“Ok.. I will..”

“I should go… You need your rest..” Alec stood slowly and without thinking leant and pressed a soft kiss to Lydia’ forehead

“Thank you Lydia…” He whispered as he turned to leave..

“Alec I was wrong…”

He turned to look at her a question in his eyes.

“When I told you we rule with our heads not our hearts. I was wrong. We should rule with our heads and our hearts. I know that now..”

Alec smiled gently

“Stay then and that's what we’ll do…”

 

 

 


	2. Isabelle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Alec thought returning to his room would give him chance to process what he was thinking he was sorely mistaken

Alec wasn't sure how he felt after leaving the infirmary. Of all the things he'd expected nothing could have prepared him for what Lydia had said. It was too much to process right now so he did what he always did, retreat into focusing on the mission, on stopping Valentine. Maybe it wasn't too late. The Clave wouldn't listen that much he knew but what if, what if the change could start here. Was it even possible? Perhaps. It wasn't much but that one word was like a chink of light in the darkness, a glimmer of hope where there was none. He had reached his room now, drifted there on instinct his thoughts all hazy, knowing what needed to be done but not sure how it could be done.

He saw her as he entered the room, his sister was curled up in his bed hugging a pillow tightly to her chest as she slept, her hair spilling around her and clothes rumpled. She had waited for him, he shouldn't have expected anything less, his little sister loved with the fire of a million suns and couldn't rest unless her loved ones were safe. Softly he crept past desperate not to wake her only making it to the bathroom door before she started to wake.

“Alec?..” Her voice was cloudy with sleep

“Yes.. Shhh now … Go back to sleep..” Alec spoke softly

“What time is it…?” She murmured rubbing her eyes blearily

“I don't know 10ish maybe..” Alec had glanced down at his watch and seeing the time shocked him. How had he wasted so much time when every second seemed to pull Jace further from them. Again the thought rushed through his head _how could you be so selfish._

Izzy's jet black eye snapped open suddenly alert as she sat bolt upright.

“So the walk of shame finally ..” The smile lit up her whole face..

“Iz… Look I just need a shower ok..”

“Sure.. Yeah I get it..You ok…?” A look of concern flashed over his sisters face

“I'm fine..”

“Good…so everything's ok?”

“Iz…”

“Ok, ok …just hurry up..”

Alec sighed closing the bathroom door behind him, he had known this would happen but had hoped that he would've had a bit more time to prepare. He undressed swiftly and stood under the steaming shower hoping that the hot water would help to clear his mind. There were so many other things he needed to get straight and if he was honest there was a big part of him that wanted to hold the memory of last night close, precious just to Magnus and him. Talking to Lydia had assuaged some of the guilt of him seeking his own happiness but still it was there hanging in the background threatening to ruin everything.

Images of Magnus flashed in his mind unbidden. The look on his face when Alec had walked into the loft, the softness in eyes that was the first thing Alec saw when he woke, the way his nose crinkled when they laughed together. He remembered as they untangled from each other on the sofa and the comfort as they sat together drinking coffee, he smiled to himself as he recalled the look on Magnus face when Alec called him out for basically stealing their drinks. Surely it couldn't be real, that couldn't have happened, not to him.

It was terrifying, the whole situation, the way one man could invade his thoughts so constantly. He could kid himself that Magnus’ immortality made him hesitate but no it was more than that. For years he'd seen his siblings chase after lovers whilst he stayed separate. He had never expected anything like this and in his own way had been happy, had accepted that life of isolation, it had felt safe. He realised years ago the way he felt, had kidded himself that he was in love with Jace and that protecting his parabatai would be enough for him, a purpose for his life. It was more than that though, loving Jace had been easy, there was no danger of him ever feeling the same and that brought him a sense of security, there was no risk. It felt like the world was shifting underneath him and now Isabelle was here wanting him to talk about his feelings. How could he tell her, tell her he was scared out of his mind, scared of what he felt in such a short time, scared that maybe Magnus felt the same, scared that maybe he didn't. It was hard enough before when he had convinced himself that the flirting was a game, just a joke, but now, well he wasn't sure how to feel. He oscillated between elation and disbelief and a growing fear that soon enough Magnus would realise just how ordinary he was. He had never felt so exposed and vulnerable in his life.

Alec shook himself and pressed his palms flat against the white tiles of the shower rivulets of warm water running down his back. He had to focus, there were more important things going on, he didn't have time to think like this, it was a luxury he couldn't afford right now. All he needed to do was get through the conversation with his sister and then …. Then what, well that was the question really and that was what they needed to focus on.

Alec stepped out of the shower and roughly dried off his hair before hastily wrapping a towel around his waist, silently cursing himself for not grabbing a set of clothes. Taking a deep breath he stepped back into the bedroom.

“Ok Iz .. Before you even start let me at least get dressed..”

Isabelle huffed loudly behind him as he started to go through the draws. Satisfied he'd got everything he needed he started to move back to the bathroom.

“Oh my god…” Closely followed by Izzy’s trying hard to suppress a fit of giggles.

Alec spun round to face her

“What…?”

“No… It's nothing… Sorry… Just go get dressed…ok ?”

Izzy was still giggling away to herself and it was making Alec feel increasingly uncomfortable. He dressed rapidly shoving on an old t- shirt and sweatpants, hell if his sister was going to give him a grilling he may well be comfortable…

As Alec sat down on the bed next to his sister she looked at him expectantly.

“So….?”

Alec cracked his knuckles nervously, wanting more than anything just to get this over with and move on to something, anything else.

“Look Iz, there's not much to say ok. I saw Magnus we talked, I fell asleep on the sofa, I came back talked to Lydia and now I'm here. To be honest I think we should be focusing on more important things right now..”

“Don't you dare do that..”

Alec saw something flicker across his sister’s eyes, anger, frustration or something else, he couldn't be sure

“What?”

“Try and deflect ..”

“I'm not, it's just..”

How could he explain, he was supposed to be the big brother, the one in control and the thought of that control slipping was so out of his comfort zone he didn't know how to process it. He longed for the familiarity of action, of planning, of fighting.

“Alec I tell you everything..”

“you want to…”

Isabelle cocked her head slightly to one side as if considering what he'd said.

“No, well partly, but mainly cos it helps, oh I don't know, get things straight in my head I s'pose “

“My head is fine..”

The lie came easily, years of practice.  
Izzy raised an eyebrow

“Seriously I'm fine. Right now we need to focus on finding Jace….”

“Which we will…”

She sounded so sure and for a second Alec was jealous of her unswerving faith and certainty that everything would work out.

“So fine… I've told you what happened now please can we drop it..”

“So you talked right..” Apparently dropping it was not an option for Isabelle.

“By the Angel, yes that's all, ok…” Alec huffed rolling his eyes

“So…. looks like it was a good talk”

Izzy smiled mischievously and tugged on the neckline of Alec's shirt revealing a perfect little bruise on his shoulder.

Alec felt himself flush heavily, partly from the memory of last night but mainly he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Guilt that instead of dealing with the reality of Valentine’s actions he had let himself forget, more concerned with himself than anyone else.

“Seriously Iz just leave it okay?”

“Alec, it's ok.. I'm sorry I was just teasing. I didn't mean anything. Look all I want is for you to be happy. You know that right?”

Alec put his head in his hands. He didn't know what to say, hell he didn't even know how he felt. How everything had felt so right, so simple this morning but now, now he felt like he was waiting for it all to come crashing down around him.

Izzy had moved closer now and rested a hand gently on her older brother’s thigh, all the frivolity had gone out of her face to be replaced by concern.

“Alec, what happened.. What did Magnus say..if he hurt you I swear by the Angel..”

The hand on his thigh was curling into fist.

“Iz stop. It's.. It's not that..I just…I..damn it I can't talk about this now, not with Jace gone and the cup and.. There's far more important things going on to be..”

In his frustration Alec had found himself standing up and pacing around the room, the now familiar feeling of his head swimming. How could he allow himself to feel like this when his parabatai was out there somewhere in pain, but how could he not when it felt like Magnus was the only solid thing to hold on to, one of the few right decisions in his life.

“Alec”

His sister had stood up now. She reached forward and touched his arm softly before she continued.

“You cannot keep looking after everyone and not yourself. It doesn't work that way.”

Alec looked at her confused. Had she spoken to Lydia? If so when? If not then why had they both said the same thing. It made no sense, surely they could see that the only thing that mattered right now was stopping Valentine.

“Alec, it's the truth..”

“No it's just Lydia said the same..”

“Well what does that tell you?” A small smile ghosted on his sisters face.

“That the two of you have been talking..”

Izzy batted him gently on the arm and sat down on the bed again

“No Alec, we haven't. It's just that's what you do. Constantly.”

She patted the bed next to her and Alec reluctantly sat down

She continued softly.

“I know you're worried about Jace, we all are, but it's not just your responsibility to get him back. Let's be honest here we’ll probably only find him if he wants to be found anyway and you're the first one to say we shouldn't go rushing in without a plan right?”

“Well I guess..”

“Ok so, we all need to make a plan together, not just you. None of this is going to be resolved overnight so we all, you included, need to look after ourselves. We need to be ready. Things will likely get a lot worse so…”

She paused, as if trying to find the words before continuing.

“So we need to appreciate every little second of happiness and not feel guilty about it..I've, well I've been thinking about this a lot, about Jace I mean. Would he have been so ready to go with Valentine if there wasn't the situation with Clary. I mean I know he's his dad, but if Clary wasn't his sister and they were, you know, happy I guess, he'd have fought harder to stay or come back or whatever. Does that even make sense..?”

His sister, who always looked so confident, gazed at him full of indecisiveness. Alec pulled her in for a tight hug.

“It does …”

“I'm sorry I pushed, you can tell me when your ready Alec. It's just… Well you and Magnus are ok right?” Izzy looked up at him as if pleading for some sort of reassurance.

“Yes, we're fine. You don't need to worry..” He smiled gently down at her.

“I'm glad. You both deserve to be happy so much..Magnus is great Alec..”

“I know..it's just all a bit new..”

Izzy looked at him quizzically

“Alec it's ok to be scared you know…”

He felt himself tense. How was it possible that she could known..Izzy pulled away and looked at him hard.

“Oh by the Angel.. That's it isn't it? Of course it is.. Look seriously big brother you have nothing to be scared of. He really really likes you. Seriously you don't risk humiliating yourself in front of the Clave if you don't.”

“I know that it's just..”

Izzy looked at him expectantly

“Ok fine you're not going to give up on this are you..”

Suddenly Izzy was grinning

“Not a chance..”

“Fine, have it your way.”

Alec took a deep breath.

“I'm scared ok.. Happy now… I mean you've met him. He's just.. Just … So..”

Alec could feel himself blushing.

“I mean he's Magnus Bane. He could have anyone so why..? I mean I have no idea what I'm doing here and sooner or later he's … Well it's just me isn't it…I don't get it..”

Izzy was starting to laugh.

“Look Iz I don't think this is funny..”

“I know, I know. Look I'm not laughing at you, honest I'm not. It's just you don't see it at all do you, the way people see you. You are one of the best people I know and I'm not just saying that ‘cos you’re my brother, everyone thinks so and you don't even notice how much they all look up to you. By the Angel half the institute hero worships you, oh and by the way you're seriously hot.”

Alec rolled his eyes.

“Listen big brother – you are, of course you are, we share the same genes you know..”

He found himself starting to laugh a little,it was such an Izzy thing to say.

“Honestly, I feel a little sorry for Magnus. I mean he's smitten enough now, he's gonna be in serious trouble when he really gets to know you..so just relax, live a little. It's gonna be fine.”

Alec felt like his face was on fire. Today was rapidly becoming too much to process, first Lydia now Isabelle. He had to stop talking about this, it was all too confusing, he had to focus on something he knew about.

“Fine, ok, can we just leave now..” Alec mumbled.

“Only if you promise to not worry..”

“I'll try ok ...”

“Ok..so..”

“So you're right we need to make a plan…”

“Changing the subject..”

“Definitely” Alec's voice was steadier.

“Ok fine…”

Alec felt relief flooding through him, finally his sister was letting him off the hook. It was time to focus.

“This is important.. I don't trust the Clave with this. In all likelihood they're not even looking for Jace unless they want to arrest him for treason..

“But he only went to save us..”

Isabelle looked shocked but not entirely surprised.

“I know, but do you trust the inquisitor to think like that..” Alec thought back to the hard face of inquisitor Herondale as she oversaw Izzy's trial. A women who seemed to make it her mission to find the worst in everyone.

“No..”

“So it's up to us. All of us.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 - on its way soon... I was planning on Maryse but there maybe a slight change in plan ... This one seems to be running away from me a bit...


	3. Jocelyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec talks to Jocelyn and revelations about Jace come to light....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a change of plan here .... Hope you enjoy...

When he had explained his conversation with Lydia that morning Izzy had absorbed everything easily, cocking her head slightly to one side as she listened. The two women had not had the easiest of relationships in the past that much was true and his sister had openly admitted to underestimating Lydia once she had heard everything. They had both agreed that trying to persuade Lydia to stay was the sensible call, it was obvious that after the wedding that there was no way the Clave would reinstate their parents but equally that they were unlikely to rest control from Lydia, the wounded party in their eyes, likely feeling that she would adhere to commands more readily due to her recent hurt. The alternative, some mindless clave automaton, would be one of the most dangerous things possible under the current circumstances.

They had decided that it would be best if Izzy spoke to Lydia again, his sister arguing that as she had been most at odds with the other woman, with the obvious exception of Jace, that her asking her to stay would mean more. Alec knew Lydia still felt a crushing sense of guilt at putting his sister on trial and also if he was honest with himself he wanted the two of them to get along.Alec would be the one to talk to Jocelyn, hoping to get some insight from her before the Clave took over with questioning.

Which was how Alec came to be standing outside Jocelyn's room unsure how to continue. The only knowledge he had of her had come from Clary and from what she had said her mother was a generous and kind person. The significance of talking to her though was not lost on him. Behind the door was Valentine’s ex wife and, perhaps more importantly to him, the mother of his parabatai. What would she feel about him, the man who had been thoughtlessly harsh on her daughter and had let her son be taken. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Nonetheless Alec found himself knocking on the door.

It was Luke that answered, his eyes simultaneously tired and happy, clearly he had stayed watching over her all night.

“Alec ?” The older man raised a questioning eyebrow.

Alec took a deep breath, he needed to sound calm and in control.

“I was wondering if it would be OK to talk to Jocelyn. I completely understand if this is a bad time and I'm sure the Clave are pestering. I was just hoping she had a moment.” Alec silently cursed himself for sounding so stilted.

Luke narrowed his eyes surveying Alec closely before answering.

“You don't trust the Clave to ask the right questions.” It was less question than a statement of fact.

“Frankly no.” The words were out before Alec even realised.

Luke nodded sagely and was about to speak but was interrupted by the Jocelyn.  
She had moved to the door and was standing just behind him. She rested her hand softly on the werewolf’s shoulder and Alec caught the look in Luke's eye as he turned to look at her, his eyes filled with love.

“Luke it's fine. I would like to talk to Alec anyway” her voice was soft and insistent. “Maybe you could go get us some tea.”

Luke seemed to hesitate for a second before kissing her on the forehead gently. He turned to Alec and gave him a slight smile.

“It would appear I have my orders. I'll leave you to it” reluctantly he left them.

Alec still stood hesitantly on the threshold. He looked at Jocelyn intently, he could definitely see how much she and Clary looked alike but was searching for a trace of Jace in her calm face and seeing nothing.

Jocelyn smiled kindly at him.

“I'm glad you came by Alec. I wanted to talk to you if you don't mind” she opened the door wide and invited him in.

Jocelyn perched on the bed in the small room and Alec took a seat next to it feeling somewhat awkward.

“So why did you want to talk to me specifically. I'm, well a bit confused..” Alec cracked his knuckles nervously before continuing “I don't suppose I have that much sway with the Clave anymore”

Jocelyn chuckled softly.  
“No I'm quite sure you don't.” She seemed to hesitate before continuing.  
“I was just thinking well..You're Jonathan’s.. Sorry Jace's.. parabatai..”

“You want to know what he's like ?” Alec hadn't even considered this and now it made perfect sense.

“If you don't mind. Clary has told me a little but I thought you of all people would know him best. She speaks very highly of him.” Everything about Jocelyn spoke of kindness and comfort but Alec could see behind her eyes a strange sort of need, a need to know about her son.

“No it's fine.” Alec rubbed the bridge of his nose distractedly “I'm not sure where to begin…”

“You've known him a long time…” she encouraged him

“Since he was 10..” Alec could picture the first time he met Jace, all blonde hair and scowls one minute and then charm the next.

“Maybe start there if that's ok..” There was a slight hesitation in her voice “were you always close..”

“Oh no I hated him at first.He was hard to get to know and my mother adored him from the start so I guess I was kind of jealous. Every thing came so easy for him, he never seemed to try it just all came naturally. I had to work so hard all the time, would train for hours and still he was better. He was charming, even back then, everyone loved him, even Isabelle my sister used follow him around.”

Alec paused to look at Jocelyn. There was something about her that was so easy to talk to and in many ways was the opposite of what he'd expected. She nodded softly at him to encourage him on.

“I remember one day it all just got too much for me, the golden boy coming in and taking my family away. I can't even remember what he said to me that day but I lost it. I was just shouting and screaming at him, Raziel the things I said and he just stood there and took it, like he deserved it.”  
Alec shivered at the memory, how he'd yelled at Jace that he wasn't wanted, that he was no one and worse. He'd never really told anyone about that day, it had been between him and Jace, but somehow he felt Jocelyn needed to know even though he wasn't sure why.   
“By the Angel I was so mad, he just stood there, I didn't understand why he wouldn't fight back. I remember I started hitting him to get some sort of reaction, I'd never felt like that, I'd been raised to be in control and I … I couldn't stop and he let me, he didn't even try and fight back. It just made me worse, I felt like he pitied me, like I wasn't even worth fighting and it was like I was completely outside of myself. Then I saw the look in his eyes, it was like he was waiting for this, like he expected it, like it was all he deserved. I just froze, everything I'd thought about him was wrong and I just saw it all in that moment…”

“Valentine hit him?” Jocelyn murmured

“He never said, but yes..yes I think so… I'm guessing clary told you the falcon story..”

“She did…” Jocelyn whispered sadly.

“Kinda sums up their relationship. Whatever his father did to him Jace thinks it was just to make him stronger…he loves his father. He always believed that whatever that man put him through it was deserved and that his father was, well, a good man I suppose. Finding out his father is Valentine and the whole thing with Clary.. I'm worried what it's going to do him..”

Alec paused, not really knowing how to carry on. Yes he'd known Jace a long time but for the first time he just wasn't sure what he would do. The Jace he'd known would have a plan but that Jace didn't have to deal with Valentine being his father or Clary his sister. The memory of Jace talking to him just a few days ago clawed at him, how Jace had thought he was sick for feeling what he did and with it the knowledge that maybe he hadn't said enough to stop his parabatai feeling that way.

“The thing with Jace is he pretends not to care but he loves the people around him more than anyone. He sees the good in people even when it's not there but he holds himself up to the highest standards. Even as a child, he thought the way I treated him was what he deserved and there was no excuse for what I did..”

“You were a child yourself Alec” Jocelyn spoke kindly

“It's not an excuse. I was ready to confess to my mother but he got there first. There he was standing there with the black eye I gave him telling my mother that it was his fault, just some sparring that got out of hand. I guess I knew then that I had to protect him, to make up for things. It would have been so easy for him to tell my mother what had happened but it didn't even occur to him. Jace would sacrifice himself to save others, it's just who he is, despite what Valentine taught him. It's just at the moment, he thinks there's something wrong with him because he couldn't kill Valentine and, well because he’s in love with Clary. Sorry you probably don't want to hear that…”

Jocelyn looked at him, her face full of sadness.

“I know my daughter well enough to understand what she's feeling. It's not their fault, they weren't to know, but I don't suppose that helps any.” She shook her head lightly.

“The thing is Jace blames himself, he's always tried to be the best, the strongest and this, well it's got him questioning whether there's some darkness in him.”

“Is there ?”

“No..”

Jocelyn gave him a look that was hard to read

“You seem so sure..”

“I am. He's my parabatai” Alec found himself touching the rune on his hip. Since Jace had gone it was a gesture that simultaneously comforted him, knowing his parabatai was still alive, and made him ache with loss.   
“If there was darkness there I would feel it. I know our bond is weakened but even so all I get is sadness. It's hard to describe, that bond has been so bright and ever present for so long but now it's just dimmer.”

Again a strange look crossed the older woman's face, it was almost as if she had expected another answer.

“You seem surprised …” Alec looked at her intently.

“I..it’s complicated…” Jocelyn paused “Alec , what do you know about Valentine and the circle?”

It was odd, the change of subject. As if Jocelyn was trying to avoid the question. Surely she couldn't think that Jace was somehow evil just because he was raised by Valentine. It was, he knew, his parabatai’s biggest fear, but equally well it was the one thing that Alec was sure of. Even with their recent issues Alec knew that Jace always tried to do the right thing, often thoughtless and impulsive but never malicious. He knew that he needed to press her on why she would think that way, but equally he wanted to know about Valentine and the circle so maybe now wasn't the time.

“Honestly…very little. After the uprising the Clave banned any talk of the circle. I didn't even know my parents were members…” Alec could hear the bitterness in his words.

“You have to understand what it was like back then. Valentine, well he wasn't always what he's like now, in the early days he was so passionate and dedicated. People were drawn to him, we were all under his spell. He talked of saving us, stopping the unnecessary deaths, using the mortal cup to make more Shadowhunters. We were so young, full of idealism and the clave seemed so stuck in the old ways. We believed every word he said, we wanted to believe him. Try not to judge your parents too harshly Alec. You know the saying ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’”

“But surely you must of seen the way things were going.”

Was it possible, Alec wondered, to be so caught up by another person that you lost all sense of right and wrong. The thought struck him suddenly, wasn't that exactly what he had done, when the Clave had ordered for Meliorn to go to the silent brothers he knew it was wrong but he trusted in their judgement so he followed. It was that easy to take a wrong path, would he still be on that path if it weren't for Magnus.

“I'm not sure we wanted to at first. I mean it was Valentine, I loved him, Luke too, your mother hero worshipped him and your father would follow anything Maryse said. He convinced us in part because we wanted to be convinced. When he started killing downworlders he always had a plausible excuse, it was self defence, they'd gone rogue, the list was endless and we wanted to believe him. Luke and I started to see the change after his father died, we thought we could save him. If I'm honest, partly I was scared. I didn't know what my life could be like without him. We'd only been married a few months and I wanted to help him through the grief.”

Jocelyn reached out to grab a glass of water from the nightstand and took a large drink before continuing.

“It was shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. Valentine was so happy and I thought, well I thought, that the baby would save him, bring him back to us. Luke tried to warn me that he was getting worse, he told me he could feel darkness through his parabatai link, but I wouldn't listen. Valentine was so attentive, so excited by the baby, that it would be strong and perfect. He fussed over me constantly, making sure I ate properly, didn't over do things, nothing was too much. He made special tonics for me to keep me strong and help the baby. I wanted so much to believe he was getting better.”

“But he wasn't” Alec muttered.

“No. I was practically on house arrest in Fairchild manor, I didn't see what was going on. The wholesale murder and torture of downworlders. He was obsessed with finding the werewolf who killed his father. Maybe I didn't want to see, I don't know”

Jocelyn sounded tired and Alec could see her shoulders drooping.

“Jocelyn, if it's too much we can do this later…”

“No, it's fine. Alec, if I tell you the next part you must promise me not to tell the Clave. Can you do that..”

Alec looked at her, the serious look in her eyes and nodded

“I swear on the Angel..but why? Why me… I mean you don't even know me..”

“Because you're his parabatai and you need to know”

He didn't know what to say, what to think. Alec knew Jace better than anyone, surely there was nothing about him that was so bad it needed to be kept from the clave. This was Jace they were talking about, Jace Wayland, the finest and best of his generation. His face was full of confusion as he looked at the older woman. He nodded for her to continue.

“How much do you know about Valentine’ experiments?” Jocelyn’s gaze was piercing

“I don't .. Not much.. Clary said something about downworlder blood, but…”

Jocelyn nodded sadly before speaking again.

“He was obsessed with creating the ultimate shadowhunter, the ultimate warrior against the demons. As he became more desperate he began to inject himself with downworlder blood, thinking it would make him stronger, faster, better. It did, up to a point but with that his mind started to fracture. He became increasingly irrational and paranoid. I pretended to myself it wasn't happening, made all sort of excuses, that he was just worried because the baby was nearly due. By the time I realised it was too late.”

Jocelyn swallowed hard and blinked back tears. Still she carried on.

“They say the birth of your first child should be the happiest day of your life..for me it was the day I truly knew the man I loved was a monster. After Jonathan was born they handed him to Valentine and I had never seen him look so proud. He called the baby his perfect little soldier, his warrior. For those few minutes I had hope.”

Alec heard her voice crack

“When they he handed the baby to me, my newborn son, I saw…. I saw all that I'd been trying to deny…. What should have been a perfect little child was twisted and wrong…his hands more like claws and his eyes…looking into that baby’s eyes… They were just black… Endless black….”

Alec started. No, this wasn't, it couldn't be right. Jace, born wrong. No. Not possible. He knew Jace, had known him half his life, this wasn't him. Alec felt himself shaking, shock, anger, maybe both.

“I.. I don't understand… No.. This…”

“The tonics Alec. The tonics Valentine had given me while I was pregnant… They were demon blood..”  
 __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger... New chapter coming really soon... This was just running away with itself a bit.
> 
> Feedback as ever is really helpful xox


	4. Jocelyn part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jocelyn talks about her past with Valentine

Alec’s head was buzzing. He had stood up without realising and was pacing around Jocelyn’s room. There was no way, it wasn't possible. He, above everyone else, would know if Jace was part demon. Surely he would feel it, after all Jocelyn had said that Luke had felt when Valentine had started experimenting on himself. But she seemed so sure. He turned to look at the older woman.

“You're sure”

She nodded sadly

Alec resumed his pacing. This made no sense whatsoever. He could believe that Jace was Valentines son, but this, this didn't feel right. Surely there must be some mistake, or was that wishful thinking.

“Then Jace is not Jonathan…that's the only way.” That had to be it surely. Alec was going through everything that Jocelyn had said in his mind, it couldn't be anything else. The thought hit him. “Wait..you said the baby had black eyes, right? Well Jace’s eyes are blue so it can't be him..”

Alec's relief was short lived

“No one else saw him as I did. Just me… Maybe it was because I'd had the same blood.. I don't know..” Jocelyn was clenching her hands together tightly “you have to understand Alec, Valentine adored that child. If he's alive there is no way Jonathan isn't as well and if he's alive Valentine will want him with him.”

“But you thought he was dead” it was a question and a statement all at once.

Jocelyn sighed and looked down briefly.

“Yes”

She looked up at Alec, his arms folded and a guarded expression on his face.

“After the uprising I ran. All I could think of was keeping the cup away from Valentine, I couldn't think straight.”

She paused as if finding the words.

“I'm not proud of just leaving my son, but I.. I was scared. I was scared of Valentine and if I'm honest I was scared of him too. For 2 days I just hid, terrified that the circle would find me, until the news filtered through that they had been defeated. I knew I had to go back for Jonathan, that leaving him with his father would only make things worse.”

Jocelyn took another drink whilst Alec watched her appraisingly. He didn't even begin to know how to process all this.

“By the time I found my way to Fairchild manor it was dusk, I'd planned to try and sneak in under cover of darkness, and then I saw it. The whole building was little more than a pile of ashes and twisted beams.”

Alec could see the tears beading in the older woman's eyes as she swiped her hand to brush them away.

“I still remember the smell of smoke as I rushed in. There was nothing left, all burned away, nothing of my home, my memories, nothing except 4 charred bodies, 3 adults one child..”

The silence felt palpable to Alec. Looking at Jocelyn he could see the pain in those memories and how she was struggling to continue. Quietly he sat down in the chair, words seemed somewhat meaningless under the circumstances. Gently he reached forward and hesitantly took her hand.

Jocelyn looked at him a weak, watery smile playing on her lips.

“It's funny, it's been over eighteen years and still..” She hesitated taking a deep breath “I've never told anyone this, not even Luke, but, well, that was one of the hardest days of my life, losing my parents, my child, my husband, but also I felt free.”

Jocelyn shifted uncomfortably before continuing.

“I guess I felt I had a chance. Since Jonathan had been born Val had barely let me out of his sight. I was barely existing. Every day was the same, pretending to love my son, pretending to be happy for my parents. Valentine put me on tonics again and I didn't even have the strength to argue, I felt too numb. If I hadn't heard a rumour that Luke was still alive I don't think I could've carried on. Suddenly it felt like everything was burnt a way, like a fresh start, so I ran”

Alec let go of her hand to run his fingers through his hair. Somehow the truth of what had happened was harder to take that the half stories and lies he'd heard, crueler and more brutal. If he was being honest with himself he'd thought Jocelyn weak for running and hiding, deserting her sacred duty, but hearing her account, well, suddenly all that shined through was her incredible strength and bravery.

“I.. Jocelyn I'm sorry..I… Look I get it. All of this” he waved his hands around to indicate the academy “well it must be so hard for you. I can't even imagine.”

He paused sighing deeply

“Just know Jace is a good man, despite it all, despite Valentine, he's a good man. A pain in the.. Sorry..he's a good man”

Jocelyn laughed lightly

“That's why I find this so hard to take. It's not just that I know him, our bond is deeper than that. How could I not know he had demon blood? It doesn't make sense.” Alec put his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“Maybe I just don't want to believe it..” He whispered.

Jocelyn leant forward and placed a hand on his knee.

“Look, maybe you're right. Maybe he's not Jonathan, although if he's isn't I'm not sure who he could be..” Jocelyn's voice was soft. “I'll know when I see him, that much I'm sure of.”

Jocelyn looked up at Alec seriously

“One thing I do know though. One thing I've learnt over all the years I've been in hiding. Having demon blood doesn't make you evil. I wouldn't have survived without the help of downworlders, I owe them my life and Clary's too. People like Dot, Luke and Magnus, they all have demon blood and they are without a doubt the better than half of the Clave for all their talk of Angel blood and superiority.”

The mention of Magnus made Alec flush.

“He's a good man Alec”

Alec looked at her, confusion in his eyes.

“Magnus I mean. He helped me in my darkest hour. He helped me, the wife of the man who had slaughtered his friends, and my child. He could quite easily of turned us away, I wouldn't have blamed him, but he kept us safe all those years.”

Alec was blushing heavily now, his mouth felt dry, words sticking in his throat. Jocelyn smiled to herself.

“He always pretended it was just for the payment, but it wasn't. You know one time he took a small silver teaspoon as a payment because I had nothing else..”

Alec smiled softly

“That sounds like him” he laughed some of tension easing.

“He has one of the kindest hearts of anyone I know.” Jocelyn agreed “Please don't break it Alec…”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Any feedback is gratefully received


	5. Jocelyn and Luke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finishes talking with Jocelyn and asks Luke an important question

_He has one of the kindest hearts of anyone I know. Please don't break it Alec…_

The words echoed around Alec’s mind clawing at him, because despite it all, whatever he did that's exactly what would happen to Magnus. Beautiful, kind, big hearted Magnus, who would live forever, who even if Alec didn't manage to screw things up (which far from certain) would have to carry on after he died.

Jocelyn looked at him carefully before extending a hand out towards him.

“I'm sorry Alec. That was too much…” She murmured softly

Alec shook his head as if to try and clear his mind, instead sending his thoughts whirling like a snow globe.

He ran his hand along the back of his neck as he spoke as if to try and comfort himself.

“No you're right. I don't deserve someone like him…”

“No Alec. That's not..” Jocelyn tried to interrupted but Alec raised a hand to stop her.

“There's no good ending for us is there? Ultimately I will die and break his heart and that's the best case scenario…. By the Angel I should let him go, I don't think I can…”

He looked at the older women, eyes full of sorrow. Jocelyn looked back at him levelly.

“You're wrong Alec. So very wrong…Magnus deserves all the love in the world. It doesn't matter that it may not last forever. Having love in your life never breaks your heart it heals it, even when it's gone. Even if I'd never seen Luke again after I ran from Idris the fact that I'd had his love carried me through some of my darkest hours, it reminded me that there was good in the world when everything was black. It was years before he found me, years when I didn't know if he was alive or dead, but the memory of his love gave me so very much”

Jocelyn paused and looked thoughtfully at the young hunter before continuing.

“There is a friend of Magnus and mine. A warlock called Tessa. She married a shadowhunter, Will, they were together till he died of old age. Magnus looked after her when Will passed. He knows what he's getting himself into.”

Alec looked at her confused.

“I..I don't… But if he's seen how this could end.. Why..?”

“Because he knows that Tessa wouldn't give up a second of being with Will despite the pain of him dying. He knows that having someone love you and being loved in return until the day they die is the most precious thing in the world. To know that there was one person in the world that loved you enough to not want anyone else for their entire life. He deserves that Alec and from the very little I know of you, I think you do too.”

“I ..umm…I..”

Alec cursed himself for his inability to find the right words. He had, to be fair, even in normal situations struggled to talk openly about his feelings. A lifetime of suppressing emotions and hiding his sexuality had left deep scars that would take more than a few days to heal, if in fact they ever did.

Clearly Jocelyn could sense his discomfort as well.

“Just think about it Alec… Look let's leave it there eh? Just say hi to Magnus for me..” She added quickly.

Alec was grateful for the change of conversation. Somehow talking to Jocelyn had been very disconcerting. She seemed to have a way of seeing through to the truth of a situation which he found unsettling to say the least. He still had to process the revelations about Jace, and honestly, he had no clue where to begin with that.

“Oh… He said he'd pop in to check on you today so you can tell him yourself…”

Jocelyn smiled

“I would like that. Maybe he’ll be able to draw out some memories, things I may have heard when I was in the coma….at least then I might be of some use..”

“That would be great… I mean if that's ok with you… I mean it's a lot to go through and if you're not strong enough yet ….”

At last the conversation seemed to be returning to solid ground for Alec. Planning and strategising were second nature to him and to be honest it felt comforting to revert to well known thought patterns rather than the futile attempts at making sense of his warring emotions.

“It'll be fine. I don't think I have the right to refuse anyway, after all I made Magnus take Clary’s memories and she was just a child….”

Alec could hear the sadness and regret in the older woman’s voice.

“She’ll forgive you..just give her time”

He laid his hand softly onto Jocelyn's arm making him look up him as she nodded gently, a weak smile touching her lips.

“I should… You know..” Alec nodded towards the door.

“Yes, of course. Best not keep Maryse waiting..”

Alec groaned inwardly. The thought of facing his parents hadn't had chance to cross his mind yet, now it was all he could think of and it wasn't a pleasant scenario he was imagining. Reluctantly he moved towards the door.

“Thank you Alec..” Jocelyn's words were so soft he barely heard them. He turned back to look at her confusion playing over his face.

“You listened and didn't judge. I appreciate that more than you know..”

Alec nodded and smiled as he left.

…..

Luke was leaning against the corridor wall casually playing with his phone as Alec emerged. He gave the distinct impression of having been there the whole time. The wolf protecting his mate.

“Good talk?”

Luke spoke first and glimpsed upwards briefly as if trying to appear disinterested.

Alec wasn't sure how to respond. So much had come up talking to Jocelyn that he hadn't had time to organise his thoughts yet.

“I guess… She's.. Well not what I expected…”

Luke guffawed and straightened himself up fluidly.

“She has that effect….probably should've warned you..” He chuckled. “But where's the fun in that..”

Alec lent back against the opposite corridor wall and surveyed the werewolf. There was no mistaking the strength both physically and emotionally of the man, it oozed from every pore. Despite this, or maybe because of it, there was an innate kindness that shone through and a ready smile was never far from his lips. It was, he had to admit, hard to imagine how Valentine could have gone so badly off the rails with Luke and Jocelyn in his life. His thoughts wandered to Jace and if there was anyway that Clary and he could be enough to save him.

“Luke can I ask you something?”

Luke leaned back against the wall mirroring Alec’s position and folded his arms across his chest.

“Sure. Can't promise I'll answer though”

The werewolf was always straightforward which Alec found refreshing.

“Fair enough” Alec half smiled before continuing “ Jocelyn said you felt it when Valentine started experimenting with downworlder blood. She said it changed your bond somehow and I wondered, well how?”

Luke nodded sagely and unfolded his arms shoving his hands roughly into his pockets.

“You're worried about Jace”

Alec nodded.

“Let me ask you something first” he continued “when you think of you parabatai bond what does it feel like?”

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. The bond was so weak and the guilt that it was his fault was ever present. The one time Jace needed his parabatai to be there for him, strong and reassuring, was the one time he had let him down and for what? Because he hadn't trusted the one person who he should've trusted with his life. The thought sickened him.

“It's so weak..” He muttered sadly

“Ok, but picture it in your mind right now, the threads that bind you. Ask yourself what colour they are?”

Alec looked questioningly at Luke who just nodded to encourage him. He closed his eyes and let his attention go to the bond, the spider like threads that seemed to bind him and Jace. He could see them clearly in his mind’s eye faint golden filigree stretching away from him, a reminder that Jace was still alive at least.

“Gold” he stated firmly.

“Ok. You asked me how I knew Valentine was using demon blood. When he started it was subtle at first, the threads between seemed to dim and the bond felt odd, off kilter somehow. I could feel he was in pain, assumed that's all it was at first. I tried to help but I couldn't reach him. You have to understand Valentine was always very convincing so when he told me he was doing better I believed him. I wanted to..”

He glanced across at Alec who nodded for him to continue.

“I started to concentrate on the bond more, checking in constantly. It became an obsession really I suppose. That's how I noticed it so early. There was a blackness spreading up the bond, like something inside him was dying, rotting away, ruining everything, even our bond. It was like the threads were being coated in tar. That's how I knew…when demon blood enters a parabatai bond it turns those golden angelic threads black.”  
Alec hesitated for a second. Even though he knew what he had felt he needed to be sure. The golden glow of his parabatai link, faint though it was, was there. The realisation brought with it an avalanche of other thoughts. Surely that meant that Jace didn't have demon blood, but then if that was true then Jace couldn't be Jocelyn's son and if he wasn't who was he and was the real Jonathan still even alive? Was it possible Valentine had stolen Michael Wayland’s real son and if so why? Why would he abandon his own child who he had engineered to be the perfect warrior? He felt like he was going round in circles.

“Alec, you alright?” Luke looked at him concerned.

“Huh.. Mmm yeah… Just something Jocelyn said..” Alec rubbed at the back of his neck distractedly.

“Look at least by the sound of it Valentine hasn't started to experiment on Jace yet….”  
Luke continued gently. “That's got to be a good thing ..”

“Yep” Alec snapped himself out of his thoughts and smiled weakly at the werewolf.  
“I guess Jocelyn’s given me a lot to think about..”

“Sounds like. Well if you ever need anyone to sound off you know where I am..”  
Luke shrugged nonchalantly.

“Thanks..look I should…I've got some reports to get done…so…”

“I bet you do. I'm guessing with all the madness you didn't get a chance last night. One of the perks of being a werewolf if you ask me.. No paperwork..” Luke grinned

“By the Angel that sounds great….as long as I get them done soon it should be fine. Hopefully my mother didn’t expect me to write everything up last night.” Alec smiled lopsidedly.

“Ah best keep Maryse happy eh?”

Alec rolled his eyes

“Yep not been that great at that recently” came the sheepish reply.

“So I hear” Luke winked as stood upright. As moved towards Jocelyn's room he paused to give the younger man a quick shoulder squeeze.

“You did the right thing Alec, never forget that…” He muttered before closing the door behind him leaving Alec alone with his thoughts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so Alec's talk with Jocelyn got a bit out of hand.... Should be only a couple of chapters left.
> 
> I am so very sorry it's taken a while to update... Work has been crazy and lots of pressure from above... Will try and finish this off soon
> 
> Any comments are gratefully received..... Really love all your feedback thank you.
> 
> Oh and I've recently joined tumbler... I am to be fair totally hopeless at is so far but feel free to come and have a chat @the-burning-tiger
> 
> Xox

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so feedback, as ever, would be super helpful... Thanks for taking the time to read.


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